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Ask for advice No motivation when parents die


Heavysky
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Posts: 38
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(@heavysky)
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I am 30 years old, my parents died when I was young. My psychology has been greatly affected, always living in torment and suffering for more than 20 years.

Sometimes I don't want to live, but I don't have the courage to do stupid things, nor do I want to leave a shock to those who stay. I am always immersed in depression, sadness without any way out, no motivation to live. Everyone around me is trying for their parents, for their family; I don't have anyone, so when I'm bored, I lose all motivation, I don't know how to revive myself. I also do not have a relationship because my appearance is not pretty, while my education is quite good, the economy is also temporary.

Last year, I stayed in the city to celebrate Tet, went for a walk alone, told myself that I was very happy and enjoying life. When I accidentally bumped into a certain family and was scolded by people, I suddenly burst into tears, then I found myself feeling sorry for myself and weak in heart. I long to have my parents by my side. Many times I considered going to see a psychologist, but it was too expensive, so I gave up. I have many good friends, but I always hide my situation and feelings, don't want you to suffer negative thoughts with me, and don't want people to see my dark side.

In front of people I am always funny, cheerful, helpful and advise others. While it is very difficult for me to open my heart and also know that not sure what to say will solve anything. I don't know how to be more motivated in life, find my heart is too tired and want to go my own way.

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